Abolish Your Fears

Aya Fubara Eneli

Abolish the Fears that have Kept You from Your Dreams
 
 Can you feel it? Do you hear it? Can you just breathe in the fresh morning air and be filled with a sense of wonder, anticipation and excitement at what God has in store for you, this new year? Its a new year. 2005 is here.
 
 I dont know about you, but I have spent the last three weeks actively mapping out my plans for this year, and I cant wait to get started. I prayed for guidance, differentiated my personal and professional lives, created categories for growth and improvement and identified the specific results I want in each category. Next, I wrote out why the results are important (musts) for me. Finally, I painstakingly created a plan for how I will achieve each result and my acceptable timeline for doing so.
 
 By this time, many of you are probably thinking, You are a control freak. How can you guarantee your plans will work? What if something happens? No one determines his or her future. Fate deals you your cards and you live with them.
 
 My response is that it is precisely that kind of thinking that has gotten you where you are today. Consider this, the Perez family decides to go on a vacation to Orlando, Florida. They will be flying out of the Indianapolis airport. Theyve purchased their tickets and packed their bags and are ready to hit the road.
 
 Contrast them with the Smith family, who are thinking it may be nice to be able to vacation together as a family. They arent sure where they want to go, although theyve heard Orlando is nice. They have considered driving the entire distance, but Mrs. Smith has heard about accidents that wipe out whole families. Flying is an option, but what if their luggage gets misplaced? The Smiths have decided to just play it by ear. If they get to Orlando, fine, if they dont, thats fine too.
 
 Which family do you think is most likely going to get to Orlando, Florida? Which family is most likely to get there first? What are the main differences between the two families?
 
 The same is true for us. There are few guarantees in life, but one of them is that you ultimately reap what you sow. The Perez family was not guaranteed success, but they made the best plans they could in the areas they could control and did not let the uncertainties of life limit them. As a result, while they may have had a few flight cancellations, and even a missed bag or two, they had given themselves more than a 99% chance that they would vacation in Florida.
 
 The Smiths, on the other hand, let real and imagined fears prevent from ever making any solid plans, let alone having the courage to execute the plans. So, what fears are limiting you? What are the specific fears that are going to keep you from giving yourself the best you have to offer?
 
 
 
 Is it a fear of failure? No one is your neighborhood, let alone family, has ever accomplished anything worthwhile, so what makes you think you are so special? Are you afraid that is you are too successful people will hate you? Are you concerned that your family and friends will snob you and accuse you of putting on airs because you are finally committing to a plan to improve your life?
 
 Maybe your particular fear is that you are not good enough. What will people say if they saw you giving your all and yet not attaining your goal; wont that make you the laughing stock of the community? Will it really be such a tragedy if your goal was to lose 40 lbs and you only succeeded at losing 15lbs? Is that not a success that you can build on and be inspired by?
 
 Some of us are afraid of losing a spouse, a significant other, or never even attracting one if we get too successful. I was repeatedly advised by well-meaning folk to hold off on my postgraduate work until I was married. The logic was that a Black woman with two postgraduate degrees would be too intimidating for most men.
 
 Give me a break. If you have to be less than you are to be with someone, just how successful will that relationship be in the long haul? Dont ever play small to feed or satisfy someones ego. First, theyll figure it out and resent you anyway. Secondly, youll resent that person too.
 
 In the past three weeks, you have taken stock of your life, reclaimed your true identity and not the lies you had believed, determined what you want in your life this year, why you want it, and how you are going to go about getting it.
 
 So, here is the next step. Write down every fear you have ever had in the past, and any new fears you feel as you review your 2005 goals. Next, determine which fears you can do something about, which ones are out of your control, and which ones are just plain unreasonable.
 
 For instance, a fear that every teacher you have in college is going to be out to get you is unreasonable and irrational. Unless you have some serious personality defects, some teachers will like you and some wont. Either way, that is certainly not something that should keep you from going to school. If the problem is that you have a bad attitude, you can choose to change your attitude.
 
 So, here is the plan. If you have a fear in an area you can control, then do something about it. If it is an unreasonable fear, identify it for what it is and then crush it. If it is an area out of your control, dont sweat it, but first make sure that it is truly out of your control. Do your best and stay optimistic.
 
 Dont let your fears rob you of your bright future. Dont doom yourself to a life of regrets and should haves. You have the power to make this the happiest, most fulfilling year of your life. Heres wishing you your abundant life.

Aya Fubara Eneli is author of Live Your Abundant Life (Xulon Press)

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